Saturday, November 20, 2010

being

The longer I do CPE and visit people, the more I am aware of the open-endedness of it. I meet with people once, talk for a while, and have to send them on their way. One visit does not solve all their problems, and I don't even know how long the bit of peace from the conversation and prayer will last. Do they wake up the next morning in turmoil again? I don't know. This is one of the difficulties for me. I like to see results, like to have a sense of completion. This is why doing is nice. If I build a house for someone, it gets finished and they move in. That need is met. I suppose no need is ever met once and for all, that we are constantly in motion so that we are always needing something again. So perhaps I do meet needs in the moment, and have to trust God to provide for the need when it appears again and I am no longer in the picture. Not seeing an end can be difficult, though. There is no perfection, and letting that be okay is hard to sit with sometimes. Oh faith. It encompasses so much more than we initially imagine.